So....Obviously the move threw me for a loop. If you didn't know, we moved to Metairie (about 30 minutes from where we lived before). I love it, love it, love it. I'm only 10 minutes or less away from Target and cute local grocery stores! Of course that is a double edged sword if you know what I mean. We painted the whole house and by that I mean the WHOLE house. Every room and its matching closet. The bathrooms, the laundry room, the hallway, the kitchen. We started attending a new church, trying to meet new people. The boys started yet another new school right down the street. Can I say I love the bus service! All of this newness, though wonderful, has been a lot for me at once. Thank God for His Word, books, family and Jesus that will get us all through!
My heart feels like it's in a place of vulnerability and tenderness. I feel like I'm walking on shaky ground. Will this next step I take cause me to stand strong or crumble and fall? I learned about God's grace in a new way. I always thought of God's grace as the umpf that was gonna help me get through a struggling season of life. Instead, the actual struggle may very well be His grace to expose and free me from my bondage to ME. My dependance on myself. Struggles bring you to the end of yourself, making you realize that your identity, meaning, purpose, and inner sense of well being was in you or in something/someone else.
If you asked me who/what do I trust in, I'd give you a quick "Jesus!" answer. But over the last couple of weeks I've realized my hope for happiness has been in things. God puts us in struggling circumstances we never would have designed for ourselves. Those circumstances cause us to give up, let go, and look for something sustainable to depend on - Jesus.
Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck. Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can't find a foothold to stand on. I am in deep water and the floods overwhelm me.
The Lord is my strength, my shield from every danger. I trust in him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.