Dear Faithful Followers:

Ok I've decided to go back to Facebook for the pictures and quick posts. So if you want to see that, you'll have to join Facebook if you haven't already. I'll keep blogging the way I always have.

Quick funny story:

The other day in the van Gabe was very upset. He said, "MOMMY!!!" in an alarming sort of way. I said, "What?" not knowing what could possibly be wrong. He said, "I can't find my heart and I've looked EVERYWHERE for it. I looked here (pointing to his knees), I looked here (pointing to his elbow), and I even looked here (pointing to his head)!!!! That was definitely a laugh out loud moment and that's really all I could do.

Thanks for keeping up with my blog and I hope you join me on Facebook. One day my goal is to get my own website with someone else managing it so I can do whatever I want on it and not have the headache of trying to figure this computer stuff out myself.

Angels and Demons

Admittedly I don't know much about angels or demons. I only know a few passages I've read in the Bible, but I do have a story...

One night, Gabe was complaining for the first time about not liking his room so dark. I've never used a night light for them so I was surprised that all of a sudden he noticed how dark his room was. I asked him why, and he said that he was afraid that someone might be in his room, and if they were he couldn't see them (not like he'd be able to protect himself or anything). Thinking I was going to calm his fears, I said that there were angels in his room to protect him. To my total surprise, this scared him even more! So I said, "Oh I just saw him fly out the window." Now he was afraid it would be standing outside of his window all night looking at him. So I pulled back the curtain to show him there was no scary angel there. After talking briefly about angels, he asked me what they look like. I must have been really tired because I kept making the situation worse. I said, "They are huge men with huge wings!" I thought that would bring him comfort. Immediately he starting crying and I quickly said, "Oh no Gabe it's ok, they are invisible!" He was really freaked out by that and now we were back to the original problem of someone being in his room and him not being able to see them!! Somehow I calmed him down and he was able to fall asleep. Maybe I should learn a little more about angels.

Walk in the Light

Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will NEVER walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8: 12.

If I want to walk in the light it will require being honest. For me, that means not only with my husband and mentors, but everyone I'm in relationship with. When we don't walk in honesty about who we really are, guilt follows us around like B.B.O. (bad body odor). From my own experience, keeping quiet about my sin makes me feel guilty and ashamed. I hate that feeling. Pride keeps me from confessing. Thank God for His mercy that "day and night (His) hand was on me." Ps 32.

Confession, even though I felt bad about it, has always brought me relief.

Celebrate Recovery says, "We are only as sick as our secrets." When we share our secrets, we divide the pain and the shame. The Word of God replaces our wrong self-image (what we think about who we are) with the right one. THEN, we can be all God intended us to be.

Secrets isolate us from each other. They prevent intimacy in all of our important relationships. Confession allows us to accept the blame for our part of the wrong doing and opens the door to restoration.

Confession: Your Doorway to Freedom and Forgiveness

I am trying very hard to figure out how to blog from my phone so you can get a real look into my life and see pictures! Yay! I did everything I was supposed to do and for some reason it's not working!! AAAHHHH! I joined Facebook to be more connected to everyone else's lives, but disabled it a few days later. Three letters - TMI (too much information). So if I can't figure this mobile blogging out, I may have to switch sites. I will do my best to keep my address. Maybe I'll just get my own website?? I know NOTHING of these things.

Anyway, I've been reading a lot on the subject of confession and wanted to share it. It may take a few posts, but it will transform your life if you have the guts to do it.

First I want to start off with a scripture from Proverbs 28:13 "He who conceals his sin does not prosper, but he who confesses and renounces them will find mercy." WOW, this is so true. Is there something in your life that no one knows about? I know confession is so hard. I hate it, yet I love it. It is the doorway to our freedom. I don't understand why, but this is how God chose it. Just like salvation - we confess out of our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God raised him from the dead, and we will be saved - Rom 10:9. It has to come out of our own mouths. Pride keeps our mouths shut. Humbling ourselves saves us from our prisons. It is humbling to confess that Jesus is Lord because we are saying "I am no longer Lord." Our pride wants us to believe that we've got it all together and we can keep it that way. But that is a lie.

In my own life, when I was bound by a sin habit, I thought I had the ability to just stop and no one had to know (major pride). I was bound daily with guilt and insecurity. Stopping never happened and it never would have. It wasn't until I confessed to my mentor (very humbling) that I found forgiveness and mercy and the ability to stop. My pride also told me that I didn't need to be forgiven. But through confession, I realized that I had sinned against God and certain people and I DID need forgiveness. God showed me two practical things to do to get out of my prison. Confession truly has transformed me. Thank God he gives us a way out!

This is the Life

Aaron and I have decided to get away for a night. We are staying at a 4-star hotel in New Orleans and let me tell you it is nice!! It kind of feels like a third honeymoon. I say third because we went back to our honeymoon hotel for our 1-year anniversary. When we arrived, there were chocolate covered strawberries waiting for us. Aaron surprised me and got the "Deluxe Package" and a river view suite. The view is amazing and the room is double the size of normal rooms with a separate room connected to the bedroom. He said, "That way if someone wants to read we won't disturb the other one sleeping." How considerate! We also get breakfast IN BED tomorrow morning. I love breakfast, especially in bed! It's funny how your mindset changes so much after having children. I don't know if I was excited to have the strawberries because they were so good or because I didn't have to share them with three begging children. Tonight we are going to a concert and it will be great to stay out as late as we want (although we will probably be looking forward to getting to bed as early as possible because we are tired old parents of toddlers). Tomorrow after our breakfast in bed, we might do a little shopping in the Canal Place Shopping Center, eat lunch, and maybe even catch a movie. It's going to be cool to get a little taste of the single life again, but I'll be glad to see my three little rascals by tomorrow.

Weekend With Paw Paw

Paw Paw came in town from Houston. That is my step-dad. The boys love seeing him. When he first came in he met us at Walmart (our local mall). Then we all visited Aaron at his restaurant for dinner. Tonight we went to our local Andouille Festival. The boys had a blast going on all the kiddie rides. We ate gumbo, nachos, and a cookie for dinner. The boys got light-up swords and each won a dolphin from a game. Isaiah was furious that he was stuck in the stroller most of the night, but he had fun riding the rides. He's the kind of kid that thinks it's funny to dart off knowing you are staring right at him telling him not to run. A cold front came through last night, so we went all bundled up in our jeans, sweaters, and hats. Now that my dad is gone, I realize how important it is to make memories with loved ones. My dad and I were both always so busy and would constantly say, like that Harry Chapin song "Cat in the Cradle," that we'd get together soon, but soon never came. We always stayed too busy to make memories and now of course I very much regret that. So needless to say, this was a great weekend. Thanks again Paw Paw!

Pet Peeves

Doesn't everyone have a pet peeve? A few of mine are walking barefoot on a dirty kitchen floor. I hate feeling those crumbs and dirt particles on my feet. Another one is when drivers drive with their blinkers on! I mean, oh my gosh, don't you hear that clicking sound every few seconds??? I know "back seat drivers" bug the heck out of a lot of people. That never really bothered me until now. Not only do I have a permanent back seat driver with me all of the time, but he's 5!!!! He has NO IDEA how to drive and he's constantly telling me when it's ok to turn, when to stop when I'm backing up, and my all time favorite - that I'm going the wrong way! Not only does he have no idea how to drive, but he has no idea where things are! He doesn't even know what a city is!!! What are your pet peeves?

My Day

So...here was my day:

1. I had a good, long conversation on the phone with my Pastor's Wife

2. I untangled a chord that's been bothering me

3. I played on the computer much longer than I had planned

4. I cried about my dad being gone

5. I thought about how fast the boys are growing up and how I don't want to take life so seriously

6. I painted areas on the walls that desperately needed to be touched up

7. I talked to both of my 87 year old neighbors much longer than I normally would have

8. I picked up lunch at my husband's work and stayed a few extra minutes to flirt

Although I had many things planned for my big day without the kids, maybe there were other, deeper things that were more important. Oh, and I did get my toenails painted a fun bright red color!

I'm Free!!!

Today Honey and Pops are spending the entire day with all three boys!!! Yay!!! I have the whole day planned out:

1. Get my toenails painted at the salon

2. Clean the entire house in two hours with no interruptions and upbeat girly music blaring in the background

3. Read a few chapters in a book thinking about what I'm reading

4. Play on my phone and my laptop

5. Do a little grocery shopping going down the isles real slow

6. Work out at the gym not thinking twice about what's going on at home

7. And of course, finally writing a blog in a clear state of mind

I might even go to Whole Foods, which is very difficult with the boys because I need to think about their prices compared to regular grocery store prices. Since they have different stuff it throws me off a little. If it were up to me I'd buy everything weird just to try it. So if you know a woman who has more than one child and you have the ability to take those children for a day, please do so. She will be more excited than you know and you will make her feel human again. At least do it for the sake of the children :)

What's Up

I have to say "Sorry" to my followers for taking so long to update. Our new life has thrown me for a loop! I'm still adjusting so I can't say I'm out of the weeds yet, but I think I'm getting there. Things that help me feel human again:

1. Spending time with my husband

2. Talking to God about my new life

3. Organizing what's been neglected

4. Sleep

5. Exercise

I had to take this whole week off from homeschooling the boys because I'm already getting behind. I keep asking myself if it is even worth it! I mean they aren't even in real school yet! But they do love it and are learning a lot, so I remind myself that, "Yes. It's worth it."

Some exciting news: (No, not pregnant yet. Don't know what's up with that). There is a core group of girls in our youth group that are committed to God and the youth ministry. This past year, I've met with them every 3 months or so to build relationships and impart my vision to see Jesus emotionally heal girls. I began with six girls and now we're at 10! Starting this past Sunday, we will be meeting once a month. We're going to be studying a book called "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George. I highly recommend all of her books. This particular book impacted me when I was 16 in a Bible Study similar to this one. We are also going to be reading small books from Mercy Ministries on issues like girls cutting themselves, emotional and sexual abuse, eating disorders, etc. I'm so excited to see how we are all going to grow to serve others this season! What makes you feel normal again when your life feels out of control?